soo i havent been able to sleep at night lately and i think it's because i have been blatantly hit with a harsh reality lately...

everybody lives for one thing. And mine was love.

now you might be thinking what is the problem with that? well let me explain.

alright, i have shaped everything i am and do around the ultimate pursuit for love. lately it seems as if no one sparks any interest anymore. part of me thinks its because of my expectations, the other part of me thinks it might have something to do with the fact that it scares me to figure out who i am without the bitter sarcastic undertones my loveless life has given me. it's like my whole character in this play will have to be rewritten and rewired..which frankly, i don't feel like doing. another downfall to this whole live biz is the fact that you have to share your "story" with whomever is a prospect for a future relationship. now i dont know who genuinely wants to hear MY life story, im not sure that i even want to hear it again...i wouldnt mind listening to someone else's but spare me. it doesnt sound very fun nor safe to let someone know your fears, weaknesses, and past.

being alone and bitter is so comfortable, and makes for quite good comedy. all i really want is beauty, guess thats my new goal? sounds pretty lonely but at least i wont have to worry about all this gutting and rewiring myself.